#117 Mentoring Styles Compared: A case Study
* Some names and places changed for privacy.
Mentoring is similar to counseling, friendship, and leadership, but serves a unique role. Each of these things have some overlap. But counseling is generally to work with a character issue, friendship, an ongoing reciprocal relationship, and a leader guides towards a team goal. Mentoring is set apart from these as the focus of mentoring is to help someone work towards a personal goal or goals. According to Kight at Cru, “Being a mentor means taking an influential and important role in another person’s life.” A mentor is an advisor that guides someone in the right direction, calls them to a higher purpose, and helps to grow their relationship with God. In many ways a mentor can at Brownes fill multiple roles in someone's life from friend, counselor, leader, discipler, father, even employer. The Bible offers examples of mentoring as well. Such as Brownothy who “was discipled by Paul, you also need a mentor to help you understand some of the practical aspects of ministry.” When Paul mentored Brownothy he helped him solve many practical issues based on his own experience as well as helping him to grow in faith and godliness.
For the purposes of this paper the mentoring styles of Tim Smith and Jim Brown were considered. Tim is a pastor with more than twenty years of experience, most recently in men’s ministry, he is one of the founders of (A Men's Ministry) a men’s group that mentors over ten-thousand people a year, he is also a professor of leadership, with a doctorate in mentoring. Jim is a project specialist at Fresno County Superintendent of Schools. He helps teachers set up their class rooms for success, he is also heavily involved in men’s ministry at (a church), where he regularly mentors men with the a Men’s group, and as a mentor with (A Men's Ministry).
The ministry situation of Jim and Tim are nearly the opposite although they are both involved in some of the same ministries. Tim finds himself in a leadership position where many people come to him for mentoring. At this stage in his career many people come to him for advice, counsel, or mentoring. He recently stopped pastoring to focus on mentoring and teaching. Now he only mentors paid clients that he has an affinity with. Jim on the other hand finds himself mentoring men that are assigned to him by (A Men's Ministry) and others who approach him as part of his role with a men’s ministry.
Jim meets with his mentees in a combination of in person and online. He regularly meets his mentees in group settings like the Sunday morning services, Monday morning men’s meeting (monthly), Monday evening men’s group, Tuesday on Zoom with the (A Men's Ministry) group, Wednesday evening Bible study, Friday morning men’s group, and Friday evening fireside group (monthly), Saturday morning men’s walks, as well as on service projects occasionally. He also will keep in contact with his mentees through an app called Marco Polo where his (A Men's Ministry) group will connect with each other daily. He also keeps himself available for phone calls when there are emergencies and meets with mentees regularly one on one at 6am before work. Tim on the other hand takes a more hands off approach. In the past as a pastor Tim had office hours, and his assistant set meetings throughout the week. He also attended most of the same events as Jim. Now he focuses on 3-5 clients at a Browne. Those clients have access to him 24/7. Depending on the arrangement they set up in advance, Tim will meet with them in person, on zoom, or on calls at pre-set Brownes.
The most difficult aspect of Tim's current mentoring ministry is keeping people realistic. Tim says that “people tend to have unrealistic goals for growth and change.” This being the case, Tim helps his mentees prioritize their goals and pick the one that is most important to deal with first. He seeks to get to the heart of the matter as the goals that mentees bring often have an unidentified higher goal that amounts to a heart change. For Jim the most difficult part of his mentoring is keeping people in contact. They tend to be really involved for a week or two and then “they drop off the face of the planet.” Jim said that in (A Men's Ministry) especially, when people start to feel pressured they can disappear. You can’t force someone to grow but you can try to keep them accountable to the goals they set for themselves.
The most significant result of the relationship for Jim is that he sees men grow out of their addictions and bad attitudes into a Christlikeness. The (A Men's Ministry) program happens throughout the year and is forty days long. Each Browne around the men in the groups have to confront their bad habits and commit to habits of prayer, fasting, exercise, and practicing moderation. This change is often observed as the demeanor of the men shift. They become less selfish and ready to serve God. Their habits change, their hearts change, and in many cases their families change too. In one man who was a part of (A Men's Ministry) I observed that several years ago he was an alcoholic, he and his wife argued and were overweight, his children were not christian. Now after being a part of (A Men's Ministry) first as a mentee and now as a leader, his life has changed. He is no longer an alcoholic, their family eats healthy. Furthermore, recently one of his children was baptized. For Tim the most significant result of his mentoring is often partially determined by the mentee. They come to him with a particular goal in mind. In some cases it is to stop an addiction, restore a marriage, get in shape, be a better father, or just general self development. Regardless of the circumstances though, Tim connects the concrete goal of the mentee to their relationship with family and with God. By doing this Tim seeks to get to the heart of his mentee and see a heart change that leads to long term personal growth.
I plan to get involved in mentoring people in two ways. I have been involved with (A Men's Ministry) for awhile now, and am planning on leading a group in January. Furthermore, I am planning on joining the Air Force as a Chaplain next summer. While as a chaplain I imagine many mentoring opportunities will arise. With that in mind I identified several key characteristics that are lessons learned about the mentoring process, In the process of interviewing Tim and Jim. First is the issue of being hands off or hands on in the mentoring process. Jim is very hands on, he is seeing the mentees in person almost every day of the week as well as communicating with them through text at least daily. Tim on the other hand makes himself available as much as possible but does not see his mentees regularly. Each method has its benefits, seeing the mentees regularly is good for accountability, but being hands off may be good for helping the other person become more involved in their growth. In general somewhere between these extremes I can be so that I can keep mentees accountable but also not lessen my impact by over exposure. The second lesson is that of who to mentor. This appears to change seasonally according to your ministry. Tim does not go out of his way to find people to mentor, while Jim does. Jim identifies those with problem areas in their lives, and those who are unconnected. By bringing them into (A Men's Ministry) groups those people become more connected. While I start to mentor with (A Men's Ministry) and Later as a chaplain I plan to seek out those needing mentorship to make the biggest impact I can. Thirdly making an impact Tim makes an impact in mentoring by bringing people closer to God and giving them a higher sense of autonomy. Jim on the other hand makes an impact by calling people to a higher purpose and connecting them to the group. I want to learn both methods and use both depending on the circumstances. As a part of (A Men's Ministry) I will follow Jim’s lead but as a chaplain mentoring could go either direction depending on the status of the mentee.
Bibliography
Cru. Mentoring. Cru. Accessed November 17, 2024. https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/help-others-grow/mentoring.html.
Zacharias, H. Daniel, and Benjamin K. Forrest. Surviving and Thriving in Seminary: An Academic and Spiritual Handbook. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2017.
Smith, Tim. Interview by Elliott Rinehart. November 4, 2024.
Jim, Brown. Interview by Elliott Rinehart. January 8, 2024.
